Legion

K: I was so disappointed in Legion. I love action/sci-fi movies so I was kind of excited to see this one. I know the reviews weren't good, but I don't listen to movie critics because they tend not to appreciate the action/sci-fi genre as much as I do. First the good points: Paul Bettany is nice to look at; and the best scene in the whole movie was when the fry cook ninja chucked a cast iron frying pan at the freaky old lady's head. Bad points: a whole lot of nothing happened; Dennis Quaid; it was never explained why this baby, of all the babies in the world waiting to be born, was the one that could save the human race; and the thing I hated most was the stupid, moron guy who was supposed to be the protector of the girl and her baby. He was such an idiot that I was seriously wondering if they were going to give us the revelation that he was borderline mentally handicapped. Very irritating. I'm sorry to say that I don't recommend this movie at all. Don't even rent it.

J: Ok, so there’s these people in a diner in the middle of the desert and one of them is pregnant but what they don’t know is that God has given up on mankind and has ordered Archangel Michael to kill the baby so He can destroy the human race.

You now know all there is to know about the plot of this abysmal movie. Unfortunately, the director, Scott Stewart and the writer, Peter Schnick seemed to feel the need to explain even more about this tissue thin plot – ad nauseum! I spent most of the time watching this film (an hour & 40 minutes of my life that I would dearly like to get back!) waiting for something to happen; and waiting and waiting. But, sadly, nothing happened. With the exception of the ninja frying pan scene my PIC mentioned and an ice cream guy that turns into an arachnid, NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. That this movie got even one star is a testament to a couple of good actors. Paul Bettany as Michael does the best he can with this meager script and Charles Dutton, as the cook in the diner, is always good for being the guy who spouts scripture when needed. And then we come to Dennis Quaid. I have to admit that he did a fairly good job in The Day After Tomorrow but after mucking up a prize with loads of potential like Pandorum, I’m pretty much done with trying to justify the dramatic range of a flea. Dennis Quaid makes Chistian Bale seems like Sir Lawrence Olivier!

This film could really have benefited from some special effects and gratuitous violence, at least something would be happening to break up the overly long explanations of family history and God getting cheesed off at the human race. But directors, please take note – we were over the really big mouth spewing whatever effect after The Mummy Returns so STOP USING IT! Honestly, because humans were capable of making a movie this bad would be enough for me to justify blowing mankind away. And, by the way, two Archangels trading effectual blows at the very end of the movie does not a Legion make.

So, please use the hour and a half you would spend watching this movie to do something more worthwhile – like contemplating your navel or gathering toe jam. Do anything, but stay away from this movie! You’re welcome.

Daybreakers

J: I have lately heard critics lamenting the recent glut of vampire movies and, while I agree to some extent, I have to say that “Daybreakers” provides at least an entertaining new twist on the genre.

It’s the year 2019 and the vampires haven’t been made in the traditional way, they are a result of a viral epidemic. As most of the world’s population is turned to bloodsuckers (how could the politicians stand the competition?) the powerbrokers naturally figure out a way to make money off the misery. As the virus spreads and humans become outnumbered by vampires some allow themselves to be turned while others decide that little scenario bites. Those poor schmucks have only two choices, go underground to retain their humanity or be captured and farmed for their blood by the new super-corporation run by Charles Bromley, played by a wonderfully creepy Sam Neill (guess Bill Nighy was busy!). And so the world keeps perking along although with a few MINOR differences, like blood in the Starbucks coffee, everything happening at night and cars customized for driving in the daylight if absolutely necessary.

There’s one itsy-bitsy problem, however. These suckers are running rapidly out of blood. So, to preserve their cash flow, the corporation puts their crack hematologists, headed by Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) on the fast track to developing a synthetic substitute, but it’s not going well and the results are pretty ugly. Meantime, riots are breaking out all over the world as the supply trickles down to nearly nothing and Mr. Bromley is suffering a bottom line breakdown because the rich vamps are removing their personal supplies from his ghastly hanging garden of human blood bovines. Oh yeah, and when deprived of blood, these pretty little fanged humans turn into neat creatures that we would normally associate with being a vampire – human façade gone poof!

A happy accident, well car accident actually, leads Edward to Lionel “Elvis” Cormac, played by Willem Dafoe, who was a vampire and accidently (again a car accident) cured himself by burning in the daylight before dowsing himself in water. This leads Edward to the cure he’s looking for but he has a little trouble selling that to the corporate geeks. See, they are more interested in the steady cash from the rich vampires than watching their profits burn up as everyone returns to non-sucking humans.

Now, even though I approached this flick with low expectations and was at this point guessing at the predictable ending for all this blood and gore, I was pleasantly surprised with a pretty nifty twist to the end. Not to mention, copious amounts of the aforementioned blood and gore – something that I will not hesitate to remind my PIC about next time she says “no” to a zombie movie! So, I will not be the spoiler here but will suggest that anyone who adores a well acted bloodbath ooze on over to their Cineplex and indulge in Daybreakers. Oh yeah, it actually made me jump once and believe me when I say that does not happen very often – BONUS!

K: I, like my PIC, was also pleasantly surprised. I liked that it wasn't your typical rehashed vampire movie plot. I'm always a sucker for an original story - and vampires running out of blood is pretty original. And I loved the little twists in the story that I didn't see coming. I also have to say that I enjoyed the gore, much to my surprise. I haven't seen a gory movie in a long time so it was good to get into a couple scenes that were bloodbaths.

In addition to good story, Sam Neill, Ethan Hawke, and Willem Defoe all did a tremendous job with their roles. I love when good actors aren't afraid to take on a fantasy/sci-fi role when presented with a good script. This was a darn good movie. I don't know why it was shelved for two years. I'm glad it finally got to see the light of day (pun intended).

Avatar

J: “Avatar” (which should also be known as “James Cameron Saves Hollywood”) was so exquisitely beautiful it reduced me to tears for most of the movie. Sure that’s an awful lot of hyperbole, which isn’t like me at all, so let’s temper it a bit. Having said all that, I’m the first to admit the message in the movie, or at least the delivery of said message, is a little heavy-handed. The one thing I think everyone can agree on is that, once again, James Cameron has moved filmmaking to a whole new amazing level – something that only a handful of directors can claim. Yes, it cost several human limbs and maybe a first-born or two, but the beauty of that is once the technology is in place, the rest is gravy. Just ask Peter Jackson and George Lucas. The perfect blending of live actors and stunning animation in 3D is clearly where Hollywood was heading – it’s the best of both worlds.

I’m not going to rehash the plot because if you haven’t seen it yet you probably aren’t going to and if you have, you’re probably on your third or fourth viewing. But I would like to talk about something my PIC said – that Avatar is just “Dances With Wolves” on steroids. It’s a fair comparison but I think that’s just the point. The Earthlings are doing just what Earthlings do best – exploiting natural resources to the point of destruction and seizing whatever they want, whether it’s there for the taking or it belongs to someone else and violently if necessary. Basically, if you are weaker, you’re toast! But the message I really appreciated was the close connection the Na’vi on planet Pandora had to the natural world around them; the importance they gave to the plants, trees and animals – even the ones they killed for food were honored in death and not destroyed wantonly or without respect. A little more of that attitude in this world would be a welcome change.

What made me cry? The sheer beauty of the planet Pandora and the feeling in 3D that it surrounded me; that I felt I was really there was a breathtaking experience. The little bugs that floated around in the air looked so real I was tempted to reach out and touch them. Jungle paths that lighted up when the Na’vi walked on them and then went dark after they passed – what an imagination!

What made me mad? Yes, I now circle back to the heavy-handed delivery of the message. I think the military “bad guys” would have been better served, and would have given critics a bit less ammo, if the reprisals had been toned down a bit. Well, maybe toned down isn’t the right phrase; how about a bit less of it. I didn’t need 45 minutes of nuclear bombing and Marine hoo-ra to “get it”. The other really glaring thing for me was the object of all this greed and avarice – some goofy rock called “unobtanium”. Are you kidding me? What a stupid name! And we never get to know what it was the silly rock did – unless I was swooning and missed it! The other thing I believe is going to bother me after my second or third time seeing Avatar (you bet – I’ll support a genius like Cameron!) is the rather flatness of the characters but I’m sure that will be addressed in the next movie – yes, of course there’ll be another 10 or 15 – this is Hollywood, right? I also would like to have seen a bit more redemption from some of the characters – notably, Giovanni Ribisi’s corporate suck-up administrator, Parker Selfridge, who is this mysterious unobtainium’s biggest fan. It was hinted at for a moment but then he was being packed off back to the dying Earth with the rest of the military grunts. Maybe next time?

I do admire what this movie has done as well as what it tries hard to represent and really do look forward to the next installment, and the next, and the next….. well, you know the drill.

J's Best of Picks for 2009

J: Yes, the inevitable year-end wrap up. However, not being much for lists per se, I’m going to put my two cents worth in a bit differently than my PIC did. Here goes:

Best Movie of 2009: I gave this an awful lot of thought because I was torn between two excellent films. However, I had to be true to my review and stick with “2012” as the best movie of the year. As a long-time loyal Trekkie this was a VERY difficult decision and, in the end, better science (more to the point, lack of science) won out. I have watched “Star Trek” several times now since its release on DVD and I just cringe when Young Spock and Old Spock have their little confab at the end of the movie – I can’t help but hear the fabric of space-time ripping to shreds in the background! My second big issue remains the infamous Red Matter. Come on now, couldn’t the writers have given just a little more thought to that? Even a made up chemical sounding name would have been better! And I’m truly sorry but watching Spock snogging Uhura every chance he got still turns my stomach. While those negatives broke the tie, it was the quality of the characters, the fabu special effects and the fact that 2012 lived up to my expectations that sealed the deal for me. The relatively happy ending, for an apocalypse anyway, also sold me. 2012 fits my theory about hoping for the best but preparing for the worst very nicely. Can’t wait until the DVD comes out! Congrats! Now, for a few other succulent picks:

Worst Movie of 2009: This was easy but somewhat unfair to my PIC – “New Moon” hands down. Even Michael Sheen as Aro was not enough to save this muscle bound mess. The review in the local paper named Kristen Stewart as the real vampire in this movie because she sucked the life out of it – so true. Look for a similar Worst of for 2010 because, after dragging my PIC to Avatar, I have to return the favor by seeing the next Twilight movie without the benefit of Michael Sheen to save it. Dracula help me!

Funniest Movie of 2009: Flew solo on this one – “Zombieland” was the funniest movie I’ve seen in awhile and got bonus points for having zombies in it. Doesn’t get much better than that, folks!

Best Movie With Vampires and Extremely Sexy Lycans of 2009: Yeah, that’s right! I felt so bad that I couldn’t fit “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans” much less any other of the Michael Sheen movies we saw this year – although I gave “Frost-Nixon” consideration as Best of the Year – that I decided to make up a Best of just for him. Sue me! That’s how Team Michael rolls!

Sherlock Holmes

J: “Sherlock Holmes” is a thrilling, if a bit exhausting, piece of filmmaking and quite enjoyable. This is one of those movies that have been on our radar since the first trailer hit theaters some time ago, with its intriguing director, Guy Ritchie, and high eye-candy quotient in Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law. In those things this movie did not disappoint.

There can be little argument that Guy Ritchie is a “guy’s” director so one can expect A LOT of action sequences but very interestingly done and Sherlock Holmes is definitely all that and a bag of popcorn. BUT, and yes it’s a big “but”, this movie could have benefited by cutting the action back a bit and letting Robert Downey Jr.’s Sherlock do a little more cerebral sleuthing. The constant onslaught of fights, chases and explosions had me thoroughly exhausted at about two thirds through the movie.

The other hallmark of a Ritchie film is his always interesting and complex characters. In this film, he gets to put his spin on established literary characters and does a very good job of making both Holmes and Dr. Watson (Jude Law) flawed but fascinating figures. Particularly Dr. Watson, who in the past has gotten a somewhat dim-witted treatment – obviously to make Holmes seem even more the genius. This movie portrays them more as equals and actually gives the good doctor a love interest (played by Kelly Reilly), who is taking him away from Holmes and Holmes does not like that much. The opening scene finds the two men rushing to stop the antagonist, Lord Henry Blackwood (Mark Strong), from committing a ritualistic murder of a young woman. And they do so, in the nick of time, naturally. In a few months, Holmes is called to Lord Blackwood’s jail cell just prior to his hanging where Blackwood delivers some ominous warnings about murders yet to come for Holmes to chew on and we get to see that his cell walls are covered with strange occultism markings. Soon after, Lord Blackwell is hung, although not well (sorry about that – don’t often get to use a pun that good!) and Dr. Watson confirms his death. Ah, but apparently death does not come swiftly to Blackwell as his tomb is smashed open from the inside and his coffin contains the body of a red-haired dwarf – ironically, the same dwarf a certain woman from Holmes’ past has hired him to find. Rachel McAdams plays Irene Adler, an American con artist who is the only person to outsmart Holmes – twice in fact, which doesn’t say much for this Holmes’ ability to keep his fly buttoned.

Even though we have had a couple of fights and at least one extended chase scene by this point, the action only continues to ramp up, with fights and explosions in abundance. And this is my one issue with this movie. As I said at the very beginning, the action sequences, while well done and very exciting, overpower the film and take away what should be the true heart of this movie – Holmes and Watson cleverly observing clues and making all the correct assumptions. All of the clues that Holmes collects throughout the course of the film are explained away in a few scant minutes at the end of the movie. Rarely, really only in Holmes’ descriptions of his coupe-de-gras in beating his fight opponents, do we ever get to witness the super-human ability of Holmes to grasp and correlate the clues as he goes along in his investigations. And that is exactly what any Sherlock Holmes movie is supposed to accomplish. While I have no problems with the new takes on the characters and did very much enjoy the “buddy movie” feel in the relationship between Holmes and Watson (including some very witty repartee), Sherlock Holmes is a detective who can take the most mundane item and turn it into the solution to the crime – something that was missed by all others – and that is what this film needs to be a worthy Sherlock Holmes picture. Now, as we clearly get the set-up for the next movie in the introduction of a truly Holmes-ian character (won’t be the spoiler here) it would be well worth mentioning this small bit of advice. Hopefully, in the next installment, we will see a more cerebral Holmes that is less the pugilist and more the brilliant detective.

K: This was a fun movie and I enjoyed watching it, but it could have used about 20 minutes of editing in the middle of the movie. I would have liked to have seen more of Holmes' powers of deduction in action instead of saving it all up for the end. However, I definitely recommend it to everyone.

Pirate Radio

J: It’s the feel good movie of the year! No, not some stupid, sappy chick-flick, I’m talking about “Pirate Radio” – a groovy trip back to the 1960s and the difficult birth of freewheeling British rock & roll. It has a terrific ensemble cast that features Philip Seymour Hoffman as an American expat DJ, The Count and Bill Nighy (geez, what CAN’T he do!) as Quentin, the boss of the ship called Radio Rock that serves as the offshore radio station of the title. The rest of the motley crew of DJ’s work around the clock to send out the trippy vibes of fledgling rock the BBC, and British government, apparently cannot abide by.

This is truly the Swinging Sixties and Young Carl (Tom Sturridge), Quentin’s godson has been sent by his mother, played with great humor by Emma Thompson, to spend time on the Radio Rock to get “straightened out”. Of course, this is the worst place for that and quite expectedly, hilarity ensues. Not surprisingly, the crew sets out to make sure Young Carl loses his virginity, but he is stymied at each turn, mostly by the man trying the hardest to help with the task, the DJ Dr. Dave (played by Nick Frost, normally a foil for Simon Pegg). Dr. Dave somehow manages to end up in bed with the very “chicks” destined for Carl, most notably, Quentin’s niece, Marianne (a charming Talulah Riley) who does eventually succumb to Carl’s modest charms.

Enter the Evil Empire in the guise of the British government. The mission of shutting down pirate radio falls to a completely, but typically, tight-assed Brit, Minister Dormandy, played with brilliant buttoned down maliciousness by Kenneth Branagh – complete with slicked down hair, dorky glasses and a decidedly unfunny family. Clearly, if he can’t have any fun in life, then neither can anyone else. He is aided in his quest by – get ready for my PIC to break out laughing – Dominic Twatt (explanation – she inexplicably cannot keep from laughing at this particular Brit euphemism, but who can blame her really) played by Jack Davenport of Pirates of the Caribbean fame. They conspire to shut down Radio Rock, which proves to be not only very hard but very unpopular as well – but that never stopped a mid-level British government functionary. More hilarity ensues.

Ok, cut to the chase. I’ve read a few reviews about this film, both from the UK and the US, and I have a question. Why is it so difficult for people to just sit back and have a good time at a movie? Why does every movie need to have a deeper meaning and loads of pathos? The simple answer is – it bloody well does not! I know I’ve launched into this rant before, but too many good movies have been sunk by this kind of thinking. I personally had a ball watching this flick. It had terrific actors that I enjoy watching whether they be vampires, petit authors or zombie best friends and terrific music to which I boogied along with in my seat. I shed a tear as the boat started to sink with all aboard and cheered when all were rescued – even The Count, which looked dicey for awhile. I had, in short, a terrific time. Too bad there are so many critics that can’t seem to do the same thing and in doing so, rob people of some potentially good natured fun. So, if this movie is still showing at a theater near you, blaze new trails, be a renegade worthy of Pirate Radio and go see this movie. You won’t regret it, Baby and you’ll be feeling groovy!

K: I agree with my PIC. This is a great movie that was fun to watch, and when you left the theater you were whistling the tunes. Definitely rent this movie when it comes out.

The Road

J: Well, in the past two weeks I have seen the spectacular Apocalypse in “2012” and now the very bleak Apocalypse in “The Road”. I can certainly tell you which one I would most like to be involved in but the brutal reality is that The Road is far closer to the truth.

The cataclysm that reduces the Earth and civilization to ash is never clearly defined, leading us students of Apocalypse to speculate a life-ending meteor. The Man as Viggo Mortensen’s character is known, wakes up in the middle of the night to see far off flames engulfing the countryside outside of the home he shares with his pregnant wife, The Woman, played by Charlize Theron. After this flashback, we catch up with The Man and his son, The Boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) many years later as they travel weak and starving down The Road, which they hope will lead them to the coast and “other good people” like themselves. The flashbacks continue during the first part of the movie and we learn that The Boy was born in the darkness of the post-Apocalyptic world. We also learn that The Woman is no longer in the picture because she has given up hope for the family and also apparently bears guilt for allowing the boy to be born at all. She simply takes off most of her clothes and walks out of the house into the nuclear winter to die.

The Man will not accept defeat so easily. It is his mission to save his child, find those other good people, and “carry the fire” presumably of civilization. This is no easy task because, after what seems to be about 10 years judging from the boy’s age, food is scarce and those not able to find food have turned to cannibalism to survive. Well, of course they would and probably pretty quickly too. The Man carries a pistol with two bullets in it – not so much for defense as for ending both of their lives and he takes great pains to instruct his son in the importance and necessity of suicide if things go REALLY bad, although I can’t really imagine how much worse it could get! As they travel, they do meet some survivors, the cannibals, those just trying to survive and the dead and dying. We soon realize, however, that The Man is so intent on his mission that he forgets his humanity. The Boy is the one who wants to trust and help, and goads his father into helping even when The Man tries to refuse. After stumbling into a large abandoned home, they discover that cannibals have taken up residence in the house and are hording a group of starving and dead humans in the basement, some of whom have had limbs removed while alive – stew for dinner? Once again, they manage to escape and soon find another empty house (they all seem to be empty and we are never sure what happens to those former residents) but this one has a treasure. They find a bunker stocked with food, water and beds. They find sanctuary for a time but the sound of an animal’s footsteps (almost all animals have died by this time) spooks The Man and, despite his son’s protests, they pack what they can and flee. But we are starting to see another problem as The Man starts each day coughing up blood – we know instinctively that The Man is going to die, as does he.

They finally do reach the coast of the Atlantic Ocean but there are no good people and the same gray desolation blankets the beach – not the blue their tattered map teases The Boy with. And so it is here that The Man lies down to die. But, as The Boy grieves, a man approaches him and, after saying all the things The Man would expect him to, The Boy finally knows he has found the good people they were looking for in the family this new man is also protecting. Could mankind actually prevail? Boy, I sure hope so because this is truly the bleakest movie I have seen in a very long time. But, as I said, this is the scenario that is most close to the truth of what would happen in a post-Apocalyptic world. And as frightening as this movie is, the most horrifying part is that profiling is alive and well in this devastated world. The gun toting rednecks are going strong by eating their fellow human beings and the one person that is "accused" of a crime is black. I don't know about you, but I don't hold out much hope for civilization if we have to rely on such a shallow gene pool. So, which Apocalypse do I want? Well, truth be told, I would much rather float around in an arc with very rich, smart people and John Cusack. But, as I consider the possibility of the end of the world (who isn’t these days?), I know in my gut that Viggo Mortensen (vestigial tail and all) is who I want running around my home filling bathtubs with water as the nuclear winter sets in.

Now some may think that I have seen the perfect movie in The Road - but, you would be wrong. It's the timeline I have a problem with. Presumably, this is a natural disaster such as a meteor or super volcano eruption followed by a nuclear winter. But The Boy looks to be in his early teens and two things would have happened by this time; either the Earth would begin to rebound and the global temperature would moderate or everyone would be dead of starvation, no matter how many cannibals survived. Yeah, you're right. I've given this far too much thought. Maybe I should just relax and see a Disney movie. Ha - that really would herald the end of the world!

K: First let me point out to my PIC that Viggo no longer has the vestigial tail, just a scar where it once was. And don't worry fellow movie goers, you have two chances to see it.

As grim as this movie is, it's incredibly well made and well acted. As my PIC stated, the point of this movie is about keeping your humanity. The father loses sight of his along his journey. He knows he's dying and his determination to do everything he can to ensure his son's survival is the only thing he can focus on. The son, even after seeing all the same horrors as his father, has kept an open heart and continuously fights with his father to do the right thing instead of the thing that will only benefit themselves. Always there is hope in the next generation, and hope is the theme of this movie. Definitely see this movie, but brace yourself for a bumpy ride.

2012

J: Forgive the hyperbole but “2012” is THE best movie of 2009! Despite what some erstwhile critics may think, this is a nearly perfect movie. It has everything those of us who are completely devoted to this genre want in a film with a bonus of compelling and well acted characters, too.

I think by now most everyone is familiar with the Mayan long count calendar and the concept that it ends on the winter solstice of 2012 with a celestial alignment that occurs once every 26,000 years – those cleaver Mayans! However, because the calendar ends on that date the speculation about what might happen after has run amuck. Enter “2012”. As the film begins, Adrian Helmsley (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) American geologist and Presidential advisor has just been told that drastic solar flares have caused runaway heating of the Earth’s core. His message to President Thomas Wilson’s (Danny Glover – Morgan Freeman must have been busy) Chief of Staff, Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) is that it can’t be stopped and it’s only a matter of time before we are toast. What happens next is exactly what one would expect to happen, everything is kept secret and a plan is put into effect to save the brightest – and richest – people on the planet. That amounts to about a fraction of a percent of the Earth’s population. Unfortunately, his timetable is a bit flawed and the end is nearer than he thinks.

Fast-forward to the year in question and we find Jackson Curtis (played by John Cusack – where HAS he been?), a cast-off father and struggling novelist who makes ends meet as a limo driver. He awakens to realize he is late to pick up his kids’ for a camping trip – not something that will endear him to this ex-wife, Kate (Amanda Peet). Of course, there is also a new boyfriend on the scene, Gordon (Thomas McCarthy) – he’s a plastic surgeon who drives a Porsche and the kids love him. So, basically, he may as well have an ensign’s red shirt on (sly reference to Star Trek) because you just know he’s not going to see the end of the movie. When the happy campers finally get to Yellowstone, they run into the requisite crazy person, beautifully played (type cast?) by Woody Harrelson. He’s a talk radio DJ that knows all about the Mayan calendar and has a ready conspiracy theory for the government cover-up. Just so happens, he’s right this time and has a map to the location of the secret arks.

At this point, you might as well put a sign up that says “If the Earth’s rockin don’t come knockin” because director Roland Emmerich is about to do what he does best – destroy things in a spectacular fashion. I didn’t think it would be possible to hold one’s breath for an entire hour but I swear I didn’t breathe from this point onward. Yes, the special effects are mind boggling and that’s just the point. This is where I part company with most other critics because said critics consistently harbor the notion that if a movie doesn’t have heartfelt meaning and award winning performances, it isn’t worth putting keyboard to paper. Posh, I say. I could drone on about the plot but you know what’s going to happen. And, yes, there are most definitely some excellent performances in this movie – most of them, in fact. And that’s what sets this movie apart from even, dare I say it, this year’s “Star Trek”. But the government does what we would expect it to do – hide things – and the good people do exactly what they are supposed to do – be better than that and help those around them. Along the way, we get the ride of our lives and some white knuckle moments such as the plane ride out of LA – oh yeah, the boyfriend can fly so he is useful after all – and THAT’S what we go to the movies for. I have one question for those critics, even the ones who struggled to give this movie what it deserved – three stars. When you go to an amusement park and get on a rollercoaster, do you critique the skill of the motorcycle gang member that’s operating the coaster or do you just sit back and enjoy the ride? Well, this movie is the ride of a lifetime so please just sit back, hold your breath and enjoy the ride! It’s worth every minute!

New Moon

K: New Moon, the second installment in the Twilight saga, was a fairly decent movie. It hit all the high points in the book and told the overall story pretty well. It was fun to see the Cullens again, and I'm glad Jasper got a line in the movie so we could hear his southern accent. I like that Rosalie got a couple lines to explain a bit about why she doesn't want Bella to turn into a vampire. But I'm sure the back stories of Jasper and Rosalie will never make into the movies, nor will those of Esme, Emmet and Alice. Carlisle's was at least hinted at in this one.

The best thing about this whole movie was the Volturi, the ancient and powerful governing body for vampires. The Volturi are led by Aro, expertly played by Michael Sheen. Sheen stands out as a seasoned professional among the entire cast of amateurs. He is deliciously evil and power hungry and I'm bummed that the Volturi won't be making an appearance in the next movie.

The second book was all about the wolf pack and I was a little disappointed that they didn't go into more detail about it. They could have spared a minute or two to explain the pack mentality and how they're all connected all the time (and that they all hate it). They very briefly mentioned that a pack member has to (i.e., physically cannot do otherwise even if they want to) follow the Alpha's orders. I was most surprised that they left out the imprinting since it has a huge impact on the ending of the last book. But I guess they're going to follow the pattern of the Harry Potter movies and just chunk it all into the last movie.

My complaint about the special effects is that when the sun hits Edward he radiates light like a light bulb is inside him and shooting out of his pores. The effect is worse than a disco ball. I much preferred the low budget sparkle of the first movie which happened to match perfectly how I imagined Edward in the sun.

Overall the movie was decent. It's a must-see for Twihards, but for the mere Twi-curious you might want to avoid the movie theater chaos and wait for the DVD.

J: Ah, "New Moon", a little movie about vampires, werewolves, and zombies. Zombies, you ask? Well, certainly not the George Romero variety and I'm not sure even those would help this movie as much as they improved Pride and Prejudice. I'm referring the to zombie-like performances of pretty much the entire cast. Now, I will be the first to admit I'm NOT a Twihard, nor even a fan - more like a Twi-not. I was, however, highly motivated to join my PIC because of the presence of Michael Sheen as Aro. It struck me as a little odd at first that an actor of the caliber of Mr. Sheen would want to be involved in a trifle of a film like this until I realized that his daughter is probably about the right age to be a Twihard and, if that's the case, I applaud any father willing to make that kind of sacrifice for his daughter! The bonus of that altruistic act is that we get treated to about 15 minutes of a great performance and the rest of the cast gets a master class in the craft of acting. How did I like the rest of the movie, you ask? Beats the hell out of me - I slept through the rest! Thanks, Michael, for letting me enjoy at least a few minutes.

Damned United

J: “A soccer movie? Are you kidding me?” Yes, a film about soccer (well, football movie to be perfectly correct) & yes, we quite enjoyed it. “Damned United” came up on my entertainment radar several weeks ago. I have always been intrigued by soccer – after all, its hockey without the skates & I can relate to that. But when we realized Michael Sheen was playing the lead, well, Team Michael had to represent!

Damned United concerns one of the great football managers (English-to-American dictionary translation: soccer coach) in England & apparently a native hero of sorts. However, he had one serious downfall, one I can completely understand; he couldn’t keep his mouth shut! Brian Clough (played brilliantly, as one would expect, by Michael Sheen), by all accounts, was a serious & passionate man, who took the sport of soccer seriously. But that lead him to take slights from other managers & dirty play (from one team in particular - Leeds United) personally. He made vendettas for these transgressions a matter of conscious & damned the consequences. And those consequences & the team most often guilty of them – Leeds United - comprise much of the drama in this film. I felt it important to do a little background research before writing this review & one account related a story about Michael Sheen’s consideration for this part. It said, basically, that he launched into a perfect imitation of Brian Clough when asked what he felt about playing the part. He also gets to show off his football prowess & instill some of his own passion for the sport into the part.

If there’s one thing everyone can seem to agree on it’s this movie is either completely accurate or completely bogus. In other words, there is no middle ground. Some of those involved say the book upon which the movie is based, The Damned Utd by David Peace, is a work of fiction at the very least & that many of the incidents portrayed never happened. Indeed, it would seem the falling out between Brian Clough & his longtime friend & assistant manager Peter Taylor (played by Timothy Spall of Wormtail fame in the Harry Potter films) is “reimagined” in order to give the movie a more uplifting ending. Kind of sappy, but I wasn’t really troubled by it during the movie, only after my research clarified the timeline of the incident. I guess everyone is entitled to their redemption, even if it didn’t happen in “real life”. One thing is certain, though. The animosity between Brian Clough & Don Revie (played by Colm Meaney), the manager of Leeds United, is very real. Clough shepherded his basement dwelling team, Derby County, up the ranks of English soccer teams, until he finally finds himself facing Leeds United, a team with a reputation for dirty play & their manager, Don Revie, who allegedly encourages his team to play dirty because, frankly, that’s how they win. Clough goes to great lengths to show Leeds that his team is worthy of a place alongside them, but Leeds beats Derby soundly & quickly leaves the stadium without a word. Clough is horrified & spends seemingly the rest of his career railing against Leeds & Revie every chance he gets both publically & privately. When Revie takes the position of English Team Manager for some reason that wasn’t really apparent (unless I was distracted by Michael Sheen’s rippling muscles in those short soccer pants & missed it – very possible!) he encourages Leeds to choose Clough as his replacement. Clough takes the position & proceeds to alienate just about everyone he comes in contact with. He tells the Leeds players that all the awards they have won are crap because they didn’t win them honestly, which really endears him to them! They refuse to play for Clough & Leeds stops winning, which then endears him to the Leeds fans. He lasts all of 44 days before he is sacked.

I suppose this movie could have easily become sappy & trite (indeed, it comes perilously close to it) but the performances by those mentioned & those not, such as Jim Broadbent as the Derby chairman, make Damned United a very entertaining film whether you are a soccer fan or no. It’s a wonderful indie film that will be enjoyed by a few with extreme good taste (like my PIC & I) & then go completely unnoticed & underappreciated. So, do yourself a favor & be one of the sophisticated cool people & see Damned United, damn it all!

K: This was a very well made film full of great actors. I like that this wasn't your typical story arc where the protagonist starts from nothing and ends on top. That would have been predicable, and this movie probably would then have never gotten made. Many of you probably aren't planning to go to the theater to watch this one, but please put it in your rental queue. You won't regret it.

OK, now I have to turn into a stupid little five year old. For some reason there is nothing funnier to me than to watch grown men call each other twats. I giggled every time someone called someone else a twat. TWAT! I told my PIC that I'm going to start working twat into my regular vernacular to which she replied that nothing would make her happier. So don't be a twat; watch this movie!

This Is It

K: It was truly stunning to watch Michael Jackson's concert rehearsal footage for his never-realized This Is It concert. This footage was taped over the course of a few different rehearsals each at different stages of completion. Michael Jackson was involved in every part of this production from the instrumental music, vocals, dancing, staging, lighting, special effects and everything in between. I found it interesting to see how he inspired everyone to achieve excellence through his passion, commitment and, most refreshingly, his genuine kindness. And in an age where many singer's voices are dubbed and digitally corrected due to (extreme) lack of talent, it was awesome to hear him sing and sound just like he does on his albums. And, of course, his dancing is phenomenal.

I loved some of the phrases he used while giving directions during rehearsals. In one scene he was trying to get the tempo right on The Way You Make Me Feel. He wanted the beginning slower and with a specific overall "tone" (for lack of a better word on my part). He told the keyboardist that he wanted the musical feeling of "just getting out of bed" - which, when you listened to it, was an accurate description of how it sounded. Then the keyboardist started adding more music too quickly, and Michael Jackson corrected him by telling him that he wanted the music to "simmer" for awhile before it kicked in.

I was enthralled with this whole movie. I want to see him perform this concert live. It's clear why the 50 shows he had scheduled sold out almost instantly. I wish we could turn back time and somehow prevent his untimely and UNNECESSARY death. It's clear that he was physically healthy and excited about performing these shows. I am both inspired and heartbroken. *sigh* Anyone who has even the slightest interest in Michael Jackson should go see this movie. You will not be disappointed.

J: It was hard to watch this movie & wrap your head around the idea that a few days after his final pep talk to his crew - Michael Jackson was dead. This is something the movie never addresses & I do understand why. His fans needed a final farewell & a reason to celebrate - this film gives them exactly that. We also can be grateful that film will provide a record of this talented star after an untimely death. But there is a huge hole in this movie - the enormous bit of unfinished business that is the songs half sung, the dances merely sketched out & blocked, the Wow factor of the costumes that would never be. That is the tragedy of this film. So many of the participants in this concert talked about how much Michael Jackson had influenced their art - some even talked about personal salvation. All were there not for "the gig" or the paycheck, but to participate in a holy pilgrimage & the worship of their idol. Those are the people I felt sorry for - what became of them? What happened to their dreams?

Regardless of what is said or written about his very strange life, Michael Jackson was the King of Pop. But as joyous as this film tries to be, I can't help the feeling that the untimely death of Michael Jackson will only continue to be a circus & for all the claims to the contrary, that it will foster the kind of back-biting & greed we have seen in even the best & allegely most altruistic families. The cash-cow will finally be gone, after the movie & assorted final CDs have come & gone. What will happen when the family starts fighting for every penny in order to maintain the lifestyle bestowed on them for their loyalty to the Kind of Pop? Its a frightening idea - I hope I'm wrong about it but don't hold out much hope. Anyway, it was fun to watch Michael do his "thing" & enjoy the raw talent he surrounded himself with - too bad he wasn't as careful in his choices of confidants or physicians!

Law Abiding Citizen

J: Is “Law Abiding Citizen” the movie of the year? No. Is it even my favorite movie of 2009? No. But what Law Abiding Citizen is, is a good serviceable action flick with a nice twist that doesn’t give itself away halfway through the movie. And that works very well for me.

Granted, it does require some suspension of disbelief. But so did that small screen abomination “Lost” and most of the time nothing happened – yet people flocked to that trifle. At least the action in Law Abiding Citizen keeps up a neat pace and I was able to buy into the premise without much thought. And maybe that’s the problem. It seems these days, critics (this Faithful Duo excepted, of course) go to see every movie expecting deep and moving pathos, and Oscar winning drama. It doesn’t always need to happen that way – sometimes we should just sit back and enjoy ourselves. And my PIC and I did just that – despite the old farts sitting next to us that couldn’t keep their dentures snapped shut!

Ok, to the movie. Law Abiding Citizen stars Gerard Butler as Clyde Shelton, who in the first scene loses his wife and child in a brutal attack, the reason for which is never really explained, but I can live with that. Enter Jamie Foxx as Nick Rice, the DA who makes a plea deal rather than risk his conviction record. Of course, that means the real killer/rapist goes relatively free while the reasonably innocent guy gets executed. Goes without saying that it cheeses Clyde off a bit. Time passes and the execution is about to take place – however, it goes horribly wrong. And this is when the fun begins.

You see, Clyde is a former spy-cum-genius of whom it is said “if Clyde wants you dead, you’re dead!” Well! And so, as Clyde gets sort of even and teaches the legal system a lesson (his avowed reason for the mayhem – not vengeance) about justice, an assortment of very Saw-like deaths occur – even as Clyde sits in his solitary confinement cell in a Philly jail. He has had 10 years to plan and tinker, and he used them extremely well. For those moralists out there, the villains do get their come-uppance in the end, so don’t worry about the possibility of there being no moral to the story. And for those of you to whom it matters (like my PIC and myself) there is a high eye-candy factor. Yeah, who is this Gerard Butler guy, anyway? Yes, that was a rhetorical question. But seriously, he is an accomplished actor, extremely easy on the eyes and he produced this movie. Yes, Sir – may I have another!

So, want to munch some popcorn and be entertained for a couple hours? Then please go see Law Abiding Citizen, you’ll enjoy it – I promise.

K: Yes, I agree with my PIC that you will enjoy this movie - except if you sit next to those same old farts we were sitting next to. They were both deaf and the woman was stupid. She couldn't follow the plot (which wasn't difficult at all) and he had to explain e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g to her. They also had a few conversations about their hot pretzel, their straw situation, and other food related topics. But I digress.

I think some people have the impression that action films are all special effects and no substance. While this is sadly true for some films in this genre, it is not the case with this movie. It wasn't all explosions and car chases with no real point. Everything that happened had a purpose. We were following a man who felt the justice system had failed him, and who was trying to exploit its defects to incite change. I thought this was very well done. And Gerard Butler is easy on the eyes. *snicker ,snicker*

So in summary, go see this film and please don't talk excessively in movie theaters. Thank you.

Zombieland

J: Flying solo this time because my PIC does not share my “taste” for zombie films. Yes, hang on to your hats because the puns are a-comin’! “Zombieland” is drop dead funny – full of biting satire & all of the wonderful things that make zombie movie fans hungry for more. This movie is something you can really sink your teeth into.

Ok, I’ll stop now. But seriously, Zombieland has everything a good movie should; comedy, tragedy, a little romance, pathos & gore. That’s about all I need. The story is narrated by Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) who claims to have survived the zombie apocalypse not because he is macho or has great survival skills but because he has always been a loner & also because he has developed a set of rules to avoid being eaten. They include gems like the Double Tap – which is much like the knowledge that killing a zombie requires a shot to the head (a fact I keep reminding everyone will come in very handy someday) but expounds the need for a follow-up shot. Makes sense to me. In time, Columbus meets up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) & we discover that it’s he who has determined that people should be known only by their hometowns – fewer complications that way. Tallahassee has come into his own in the zombie post-apocalyptic world because he has a talent for killing zombies & he knows his mother would be proud of that. But his true calling is the driving need to find the last Twinkies left in the world. Hey, everyone needs goals!

One of the more touching scenes comes when Tallahassee & Columbus meet Wichita (Emma Stone) & her little sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin – why is this poor child in such creepy movies? Remember “Signs”? Man, I thought MY childhood was twisted!). They are facing a dire decision about the health of one of them, but – AH HA! A cleaver twist ensues & the boys realize they have come up against two very tricky chicks. A couple of stolen rides later, the group decides that, considering the options, working together is probably the best thing. And the goal for the girls? Wichita is bent on giving her sister one last shot at being a kid by heading to Pacific Playland in California. As the little troupe is heading through a zombie infested Hollywood, Tallahassee picks the perfect place for them to crash. With celebrity map in hand, they head for Bill Murray’s mansion. Yes, he does have a very cool little cameo- is that Bill Murray in drag or Bill Murray dragging body parts? Guess you’ll just have to see the movie. Pacific Playland turns out to be a really bad idea for the girls but gives Columbus a chance to break one of his own rules, be the hero & save the girl. Yes readers, this zombie movie actually has a happy ending! I told you it had everything.

My kudos to director Ruben Fleischer for making the funniest zombie movie since “Return of The Living Dead” – look it up, guys – “Sean of the Dead” is not the only zombie comedy – or, zomedy if you will. Now it’s official – if someone steals that, you can say you read it here first!

Pandorum

J: I hate to characterize movies like this but “Pandorum” is best described as “Alien” meets “Mad Max” and that’s all I need to know. I would make just one suggestion to anyone seeing this movie for the first time – just relax and enjoy the fun. I know I did. Anyone with an interest, as I have, will then need to see the movie for a second time in order to get all your questions answered and, yes, you will have questions but, heck, that’s part of the fun isn’t it? I mean, honestly, how many times have you watched Alien? Yeah, thought so.

It is said in literary circles that there are really only five plots in fiction. The same goes for sci-fi and those are pretty much monster/alien running loose, psychopathic killer running loose, zombies running loose, and hyperspace sickness and its effects. Pandorum deals with the later but in an interesting way. A space ship called Elysium (aptly named for both its meaning as a paradise and an abode of the dead) departs a fatally overcrowded future Earth carrying some 60,000 souls bound to colonize an Earthlike planet. We join the fun as a couple of crew members are awaking from deep hyper-sleep and watch as they navigate their temporary loss of memory. Gradually, the two men, Lt. Payton (Dennis Quaid) and Corporal Bower (Ben Foster), realize they have been awakened at the wrong time and also that they can’t leave their small capsule. The only way out is through the crowded air duct, naturally. Bower is the only one small enough to make it, so with Payton in radio contact and talking him through, he attempts to get to the flight deck so he can find out what the H-E double hockey sticks is going on!

Here’s where the fun begins. On the way to the flight deck, Bower is attacked by a human looking and quite cannibalistic creature that he manages to fight off. He also meets a few people from the crew, one that should be wearing that infamous “red shirt” of Star Trek fame, one who is fierce but doesn’t speak English and a French woman. They convince Bower he won’t like what he finds on the flight deck so they head for the reactor instead – yes, Super Bower can jump start that puppy too, what a guy! Along the way, Bower finds out the French woman, Nadia (Antje Traue), is the keeper of all the plants and animals this modern Noah’s ark is carrying and that she’s a pretty mean survivalist, unfortunately she doesn’t have much info and has no idea how long this has all been going on. As they continue on to the reactor, they bump into the requisite crazy guy who does. Leland (Eddie Rouse) is his name and he narrates his carvings on the ship wall in order to tell them about the message received by the crew after they had been underway for some time. That message said the Earth was in imminent danger of being destroyed and so the ship now carries the last remnants of human kind. One of those crew members, Gallo (Cam Gigandet) then flips out suffering from a deep space sickness known as Pandorum – very much feared and brought on by severe stress in space. Gallo kills everyone on the flight deck and then begins playing God with the rest of the crew and either causes their deaths or allows them to mutate into the flesh eating creatures the rest of this little band is trying to avoid. Finally Bower convinces all their best chance of survival is to help him get to the reactor – which is great because Leland is sizing them up for a Happy Meal.

And here I will stop because I am not going to be a spoiler – see, I told you there would be questions! This truly is first rate sci-fi and director Christian Alvart takes us on a wild and thoroughly entertaining ride that ultimately involves some pretty neat plot twists and a major bit of mistaken identity – just in case you were wondering what happened to Lt. Payton. Part of the fun is trying to figure out who actually has Pandorum and who is ok. Also, it isn’t as visually dark as a lot of these movies so you are spared a lot of eye strain! However, sigh, I have one minor complaint. The important info that we get along the way comes by way of someone with a really weird accent and strange flashbacks which can be slightly annoying and cause the viewer to miss important details, so as I said, enjoy the ride the first time through then go back for seconds! I’ll be right behind you!

K: Ah yes, my PIC did indeed have a question about a key plot point, and when I pointed out the scene where we got that information she grumbled something about having someone else give us the information instead of the guy who's hard to understand. I couldn't really argue with that.

I liked this movie. Good action / sci-fi flick with a little bit of a twist at the end - God knows I love those! My one complaint is that at the end of every scene someone had to say "We've got to get out of here." It was obvious by everything that was going on in the plot that it was crucial for them to keep moving. I don't think they had to remind us quite so often. But hey, if you can roll with that and focus your listening on the mumbly guy's big scene, you're sure to enjoy this thriller.

The Informant

J: When was the last time you sat in a darkened theater laughing at someone who is so psychologically impaired that it borders on pathological? Well, get ready to have your funny bone tweaked by Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon) in “The Informant” because he truly puts the fun in dysfunctional.

Steven Soderbergh directed this romp through the biggest whistleblower case in Justice Department history. It is a dark comedy that uses the main character’s non-sequiturs as the illustration of his decent into madness as a result of the pressures of being a mole for the FBI. The trick is extremely effective – you find yourself scratching your head and wondering how anyone could possibly be thinking about the size of their hands as they walk into a price fixing meeting wired to the teeth. You can’t help but laugh.

The Informant is based on the book of the same name by Attorney James Lieber that tells the story of Whitacre’s decision to blow the whistle on Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) and their efforts to fix the global price of lysine. Unfortunately, he also happens to be engaging in a little corporate hanky-panky himself. As the pressures of the three years of being a mole within the organization begin to build, Whitacre slips further into bipolar mania until he can’t tell his facts from his fantasies. The FBI agents, Brian Shepard (Scott Bakula) and Dean Paisley (Joel McHale) stand helplessly by while Whitacre first flirts with giving away the whole investigation with his wide-eyed wonderment at how the FBI has rigged their surveillance (he stares at the lamp in the hotel room where the bug is hidden with childlike wonder) and then as their case slips away because of Whitacre’s ever changing account of what is happening. Whitacre, meanwhile, is convinced that he will be hailed as an everyman hero and given the position of CEO of ADM pretty much because he will be the last man standing after the Justice Department gets through with ADM – even as the Justice lawyers point out to him that the “corporate landscape may change a bit” for him. But he cluelessly forges ahead with his equally clueless wife Ginger (Melanie Lynskey) at his side. As a stay at home mother, she is comfortable with their surroundings even as she questions why her husband needs six cars in the garage – many of them top end sports cars. It is, however, at her urging that he goes to the FBI and offers his service.

The Informant gives one the chance to just sit and be entertained. You don’t have to divine the motives or guess who the real villain is or when the twist will come. It is an extremely straightforward and uncomplicatedly funny movie. With a dash of sixties era “gee-gosh-willy”, even though it happens in the mid-1990’s, provided by Whitacre and his wife this is just an all around enjoyable movie. Please do not feel guilty about laughing – I’m pretty sure that’s the point!

K: Insanely funny! What a comedy of errors - unfortunately it's true! *whispers* "I see stupid people. They're everywhere!"

Inglorious Basterds

J: What would happen if you crossed “The Dirty Dozen” with “Kill Bill Parts 1 & 2”? Obviously, you would get “Inglorious Basterds”, a thoroughly entertaining, albeit very archetypal, Quentin Tarantino film.

I wasn’t a bit surprised to see the reviews for this film prior to opening – as with most of his work, you either love Tarantino or hate him. There simply isn’t a middle ground. You pretty much won’t ever see a Tarantino movie that gets two stars – as a reviewer you are either in or you’re out. I’m definitely an innie. Even if you didn’t know this was a Tarantino film when you walked in the theater you would know it for certain after the first ten minutes.

Inglorious Basterds is a pretty straight forward film with no particular twists, in keeping with traditional World War II movies – but with A LOT more violence which is most assuredly a QT trait. Particularly in the ways the Basterds come to be known by the Nazis – yes, what you heard is true so be prepared for the scalping scenes. I’ve never heard so many groans in a theater and believe me, I see a good many groan inducing movies. I have to say, my favorite scene in the whole movie is the opening scene that introduces Shoshanna, the Nazi Nemesis. What? You thought that was the leader of the Basterds, Lt. Aldo Raine (played by Brad Pitt)? Well, yes, he is the most obvious but Shoshanna (played by Melanie Laurent) is the most interesting as well as the most successful. But this opening scene is cleverly crafted and extremely heart wrenching in its drama. In fact, you might almost see the footprint of a Martin Scorsese film instead, proving that Tarantino is capable of as much pathos as anyone in the industry when he puts his mind to it. It is at the same time beautiful and horrible.

The film mainly concerns itself with the premier of a Nazi propaganda film about a young German war hero who slaughters several hundred Allied soldiers. When the hero, Frederick Zoller (played by Daniel Bruhl) becomes smitten (love that word and never get to use it enough) with Shoshanna, who is hiding in Paris under an assumed name and running a small theater, he presses propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels (Sylvester Groth) to bestow the “honor” of holding the premier in her theater. After she endures the surreal meeting with Goebbels, she realizes the opportunity of a lifetime has dropped in her lap and she begins her plot to bring down the Third Reich.

Enter the Basterds with the same goal. They will be working with a British agent who has been recruited by a classic Brit military officer played beautifully by Mike Myers in one of the two surprising cameos. What’s the other one, you ask? Well kids, prepare for your cinema lesson for today. During this meeting it is obvious Winston Churchill is sitting in but who is that actor playing him? A veteran actor, and one of my favorites, named Rod Taylor. Who is he? Want to see a really good movie? Watch the original “Time Machine” from 1960, not that horror that came out recently. Thanks to QT for the lovely homage! But I digress. The Basterds meet German actress and Allied sympathizer, Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kurger – ho hum) and Operation Kino is born. And the Nazis oblige both would-be saboteurs by loading the cinema with every luminary, including Der Fuhrer himself.

The fly in this exquisite ointment is German Colonel Hans Landa, played entertainingly by Christoph Waltz, who walked away with a well deserved Cannes Film Festival award. He is undoubtedly the most interesting character in the bunch and pulls the one small twist at the end of the movie. Be prepared for a little bit of revisionist history but go with it anyway. What is my one little complaint? Basterds drags just a tiny bit in some places but not so much that anyone would be tempted to howl about how it could have been much shorter. Bottom line, I enjoyed it immensely and will definitely put it in my Netflix queue when it gets released on video. Kudos Mr. Tarantino and please don’t make us wait so long until the next one!

K: Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Tarantino is a genius and only he can get away with making a movie like this. It's such an original film about Nazis. And the revisionist history was highly entertaining. If you don't see it in the theater put it in your movie queue.

District 9

J: Only someone with the vision and creativity of Peter Jackson could conceive a science fiction film that brings together all of the qualities in “District 9”. This movie has all of the things one hopes for in a great sci-fi flick; action, an unsettling creature and body parts flying all over the place. But this movie goes a step farther; this one actually makes you think.

District 9 is the name of the slum in which a huge group of aliens, stranded when their ship inexplicably stalls over Johannesburg, South Africa, are placed in a lame attempt at a humanitarian effort. When it becomes clear the Prawns, a derogatory name given the aliens based on their lobster-like appearance, aren’t going away anytime soon, a large conglomerate named MNU (any resemblance to Halliburton is probably very much intended) undertakes the task of “evicting” the aliens so as to move them to a shiny new future slum a very long way away from the city. You see, the good folks of Johannesburg, a group with a long history of “tolerance”, are fed up to here with all the crime and gang activity surrounding District 9 and want them gone. Providing the proof-point that even people with a long history of being discriminated against are more than happy to discriminate against someone lesser than themselves – ah, Human Nature at its finest. The “documentary” that is this movie follows the low-level manager, who has been given this plum assignment by his creepy father-in-law, Wikus Van De Merwe (played by Sharlto Copley) as he works to first get the Prawns to sign a paper saying they understand their eviction so the next step – the actual eviction – can lawfully take place. Quite a trick considering the alien language is difficult to understand and they haven’t got a clue what an eviction is. But he enthusiastically pushes ahead, until he gets a face-full of some strange alien brew in one of the shacks. This changes Wikus from a pocket protector and vest wearing nerd into, well into something even worse, hard though that might be to imagine.

And so enters MNU and their real dilemma – you see, the aliens have all manner of very dangerous looking weapons and MNU would just LOVE to reverse engineer those bad boys but have a slight problem. The weapons only work for someone with the alien DNA – gee, maybe old Wikus could help them out with that. Unfortunately, that just isn’t the cruise Wikus signed up for and he expresses his dismay with MNU’s idea about that even as their scientists continue to cattle prod him into going along with their zany idea. When it looks like Wikus is going to resemble the cat food the aliens have a drug like craving for, he decides he has had enough and affects a pretty cool escape. Once he blows out of the subterranean lab, he has nowhere to go except back to the Prawns he has just spent the entire day harassing. Bad luck, Chum!

The documentary filming style is just this side of jumping the shark these days but in this case it serves the film very well. Director South African Neill Blomkamp does a good job of making sure it’s not as jarring as some of the first attempts at a hand-held look, such as “Cloverfield”, have been and the background supplied by the “interviews” interspersed throughout the movie do a great job of moving the story along. The violence is shocking in its appearance and necessity, with a terrific convergence of CGI and real camera work. The largely unknown in the US cast gives the film an even deeper documentary feel – because you don’t recognize anyone it feels more like it’s happening in real-time. For that reason, it’s very easy to get absorbed in this film, but not so much that you miss the very evident underlying meaning. It is no accident this film takes place in Johannesburg. Intolerance and extreme social injustice are themes that loom very large in this film – particularly intolerance and human inability to relate to anyone or anything outside of a narrow frame of reference. The changes, both physically and psychically, that Wikus goes through turn on these points. In a very crucial moment Wikus has to come to terms with his position of having only the alien who helped brew the fluid he gets sprayed with to help him out. Luckily for the hapless Wikus, the Prawn he befriends is determined to get his ship back on its wheels and get him and his cute, bright, shrimpy little boy the heck out of this solar system from hell. And that’s where this movie gets its humor – from the irony of the situation Wikus and the Prawns find themselves in. There is nothing in this film that I have a particular problem with, except (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?) the lack of answers to many of the questions, but in true Hollywood fashion, we are witness to a franchise in the making. I’m sure all these questions will be answered in District 10 and the additional questions posed in District 10 will be answered…oh, you know the drill. Anyway, RUN, do not walk, to see District 9 – I guarantee you will enjoy it!

K: District 9 is an intelligent and fresh take on what would happen if aliens came to earth. I like that it happens in Johannesburg, South Africa (very symbolic, btw) as opposed to some typical US city. I also liked that they used all unknown actors, which played well with the documentary-style of storytelling. The only thing I didn't like is that almost all of it was filmed on hand-held cameras making for a lot of jittery shots. My eyes were getting sore after awhile so I kept looking down to focus on my stable and unmoving knee for a few moments. Excellent movie. I highly recommend it.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

J: To borrow from Harry and his friends, this movie is absolutely brilliant! Half Blood Prince is a very mature movie, much like the book that was my favorite of the series. It is evident from the very beginning this is a much darker and more serious movie than the rest. And sometimes not being a rabid Potter fan has its advantages, like when one gets to enjoy a terrific movie while not being bothered by the baggage of being pissed off about everything that has been left out. I would have liked a bit more of Voldemort’s back story, like the origins of the ring that becomes one of the Horcrux’s in the movie, but I understand the need for paring out so many of these details.

David Yates returns as director and does an exceptional job with a film that relies more on character than it does on magic and special effects. However, the FX that are used are well done and not at all overwhelming. The core cast returns too, with a wonderful addition of James Broadbent as daffy Prof. Horace Slughorn, who has a secret that Harry and Prof. Dumbledore need to solve the puzzle of Lord Voldemort.

Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) returns to Hogwarts vindicated because the wizarding world now knows that Lord Voldemort (no Ralph Fiennes this go because we see him as the child, Tom Riddle, that is his origin) has returned and is killing wizards and Muggles alike. Prof. Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) enlists Harry’s help in gathering memories to piece together Voldemort’s past and discover his secrets so as to find a way to destroy him, with tragic consequences. This is the second movie in the series to end in a death and hints at what is ahead with the next installment, The Deathly Hallows, which is wisely being filmed in two parts.

In all, this movie is far more than a good Harry Potter movie, it is a great movie on its on merits. If this is any hint of what’s ahead, I have to admit I’m pretty excited. I just hope the movie gets made before these wonderful student wizards are ready to retire to the old wizards home!

K: I agree with my partner in crime that this was the best Harry Potter movie yet. I think much of it has to do with being able to dispense with the "ooh, look at that cool new spell Hermione can do" and the "oh no, a cave a troll in the girl's bathroom" type gimmicks and get down to the nitty gritty story that's been brewing for six books.

Even if you've never read the books and have only seen the movies, you know that a war is coming. It's always been leading to a showdown between Harry and Voldemort. Half Blood Prince is a great set-up for the ending of the series. I understand the need to cut out as much from the books as possible to get the movie down to a good running time, but the movie-only people (I feel) have been cheated out of the entire back story of Tom Riddle/Voldemort. While not entirely necessary, it seems like something everyone should know going into the Deathly Hallows. It only seems fair since we've been exposed to most of Harry's back story and this series ostensibly centers around those two and how and why they're bound together through Trelawney's prophecy (though we discover at the end of the last book that the series is really about two other characters, but I won't spoil that for those of you who haven't read the books).

And now I'm going to whine about other scenes missing from the movie because I'm a huge Potter dork. The most satisfying scene in the book, and possibly the whole series, was when Dumbledore came to pick up Harry from the Dursley's and gave them all the big old what for, Dumbledore-style of course. Those horrible people have had that coming for a long time and I would have loved to see them get what's coming to them on screen. I also would have liked to see the opening chapter, The Other Minister, where the Prime Minister (unwillingly) meets the Minister of Magic who has to explain that all the disasters occurring in England are actually caused by bad wizards. They even could have gotten Michael Sheen to play the Prime Minister (he plays Tony Blair in just about half the movies he's in). It's a funny chapter in the book and it would have brought a moment of levity to a dark movie. As would the scenes at the Weasley's in the beginning with Fleur Delacour, who the rest of the kids nickname Phlegm due to her overbearing personality. But at 2 1/2 hours I understand why these scenes were cut.

This is a fabulous must-see movie. The seasoned actors are great as you would expect (Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane). But this movie also highlights how good the kids have become. They've all done a little bit of work outside of the Potterverse and it's improved their acting in these movies. Emma Watson has always been the best actor of the main trio, but Daniel Radcliff's stage work on Equus has brought him up to the level of the adult actors in the movie. I think he now has the ability to believably pull off all the horrible and wonderful things that happen in Deathly Hallows. If only I had one of those darn time-turners I could speed myself ahead to watch the last two installments right now!

Terminator Salvation

J: Writing reviews has apparently created a terrible personality defect. I now go to movies and expect quality in addition to being entertained. While this may well work with most indie and Oscar worthy films, it does not work with films like “Terminator Salvation”. Now, don’t get me wrong, T-S is a perfectly entertaining film but as I sat through the first fifteen or so minutes waiting for the scintillating dialog and fine acting to kick in – and as I was getting ready to be disappointed – my PIC gently reminded me “this ain’t Slumdog, Dudette!” Ah yes, truer words were never spoken! So yes, I put aside the pretentious me and let the Slam Bang Action Flick me just sit back and enjoy! And enjoy we did.

T-S puts us squarely in the fight between the machines who initiated Judgment Day (the picture takes place soon after) and the humans left over, but there are a few new plot twists, like the addition of the Death Row inmate Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Marcus is convinced by Dr. Serena Kogan, played brilliantly albeit quickly by Helena Bonham Carter, of Cyberdyne Systems to donate his body to science. She dangles the hope of humanity in front of him and he takes the bait, possibly to get the skeletal looking Bonham Carter out of his cell. It seems they both had death sentences, his for killing a couple people and hers for cancer. He unknowingly becomes the Terminator prototype but that doesn’t work out exactly as Cyberdyne had planned. Then, whoosh, we are dropped into the center of hell after Judgment Day with John Connor, played by Christian Bale, doing the anti-Terminator stuff we have all grown up with, which is very cool indeed. Because the rest of the movie is the fleshing out of all the loose ends and heretofore unexplained T1 and T2 stuff (don’t know about you but I simply can’t count T3, particularly because it was largely unwatchable) I won’t do any spoiling but get to the really good stuff.

McG is the director. Now before your head explodes like mine almost did, let me share the 411. Joseph “McG” McGinty Nichol (I guess when you have three or four names, you have to shorten it down to something workable) got his start in the music business and, yes he did music videos, which does not always bode well for moving into full-length films. In fact, theaters are littered with those misguided attempts. But happily McG has done a fine job with T-S and clearly has a taste for Terminators in general because he takes great pains to include several homage’s to the earlier pix, including allowing Mr. Bale to speak the legendary “I’ll be back” line and in his own way. There are other assorted and very obvious links to the original two movies but the true stand-out comes at the end with some exceptionally nifty CGI work to take the Terminator full circle – VERY nicely done. But that’s as much as I will tell you because I want you to whoop it up like we did when it gets to that part. Also, BONUS, McG is a Michiganian (no, I never use the goosey sounding term), he was born in Kalamazoo. Now what’s not to like about that? All of the other action variety explosions and such are plentiful and jump-cutty enough to keep your interest. No problems there at all.

But there’s always one, isn’t there? If this is the project Mr. Bale was working on during his infamous meltdown then I would have to say to the meltdownee – get over it! Mr. Bale has a range of two emotions; incredulousness and really pissed off! Obviously, the one that gets the most exercise in this film is the pissed off emo and boy, you just can’t walk off the set and leave that kind of thing behind. Was he a decent John Connor? Certainly. Is he one of the fine actors of our time? Ah, no. With his range of emotions, the obvious choice for his next costar would have to be Naomi Watts, what a dynamic pair THAT would be! Please God, before that happens, please take me!

K: I disagree with J about Mr. Bale's acting. I think he's a very good actor, but his character in this movie only had the two emotions of incredulousness and pissed off. I do agree with J about Naomi Watts, and would also like to add Drew Barrymore to that list. I recently saw her in a movie where her acting was akin to some teenager plucked off his high school stage. However, I am on Team Christian, so rock on Mr. Bale!

Angles & Demons

J: I am most happy to report that “Angels & Demons” does not suck. That speaks specifically to Ron Howard’s enormous skill as a film maker. Mr. Howard manages to take another one of Dan Brown’s misbegotten attempts at literature and produce a rather pleasing action film.

Tom Hanks reprises his role as linguist Robert Langdon, with much better hair this go around. The Vatican has requested his help in finding four cardinals who have been kidnapped on the eve of the conclave to elect a new pope, and they are the four favorites which stymies the process. In typical Vatican fashion, though, Langdon is forced to deal with obfuscation and reticence. To the point that he actually has to remind them that they called him to help. At this point, the usual code breaking, speeding to locations in attempts to prevent the murders of the cardinals, and getting there too late ensues. By the way, I am giving away nothing here; this is all revealed in the first half hour or so of the movie. This is all rendered beautifully with a clever combination of CGI and secretly filming parts of the chase scenes without calling much attention to the effort. All because the Vatican is so fearful of the truth they would not allowing any filming anywhere the desired location. Unbridled power is a frightful thing. Kudos to Mr. Howard for working around all that.

Mr. Howard has again assembled an impressive supporting cast, including Ewan McGregor, a priest with a secret (somehow that doesn’t shock me much), Armin Mueller-Stahl (X-File-ophiles with recognize him,) as Cardinal Strauss, the head of the conclave and Stellan Skarsgard (a personal favorite for the depth of his acting choices), as Commander Richter, head of the Swiss Guard. All of these characters are given a turn as the possible suspect in what is revealed to be an inside job even though this crime is laid at the feet of the Illuminati. Again, Mr. Brown brings to bear his considerable misunderstanding of history and a penchant for misguided conspiracy theories. As a veteran conspiracy theorist, I ask any fledgling conspiracy theorist to ignore anything he has to say on any of these subjects. Get the idea I don’t have much respect for Mr. Brown? Very perceptive!

At this point, however, the plot becomes a bit muddled so I would suggest that anyone seeing this movie just let it go and enjoy the ride. Thankfully, this movie has a satisfying, if strange, conclusion so I walked out pleased and not desiring to get those two hours of my life back!

I have one concern and it’s a small one – just for Mr. Brown, who if he even reads this has left it long before this. What the hell is wrong with American women? Apparently its only French women who are smart enough to be code-breakers, carriers of the bloodline of Christ and theoretical physicists. To that I say Au Contraire! We are perfectly capable of doing all three and more. Just something to think about.

K: I thought this was a good adaptation of the book, which itself is an action/adventure tale. It translates well to the screen primarily because we actually get to see all the historic sculptures and churches that hold all the secrets of this story. It's a lot of fun and I definitely recommend it to everyone.