2012

J: Forgive the hyperbole but “2012” is THE best movie of 2009! Despite what some erstwhile critics may think, this is a nearly perfect movie. It has everything those of us who are completely devoted to this genre want in a film with a bonus of compelling and well acted characters, too.

I think by now most everyone is familiar with the Mayan long count calendar and the concept that it ends on the winter solstice of 2012 with a celestial alignment that occurs once every 26,000 years – those cleaver Mayans! However, because the calendar ends on that date the speculation about what might happen after has run amuck. Enter “2012”. As the film begins, Adrian Helmsley (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) American geologist and Presidential advisor has just been told that drastic solar flares have caused runaway heating of the Earth’s core. His message to President Thomas Wilson’s (Danny Glover – Morgan Freeman must have been busy) Chief of Staff, Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) is that it can’t be stopped and it’s only a matter of time before we are toast. What happens next is exactly what one would expect to happen, everything is kept secret and a plan is put into effect to save the brightest – and richest – people on the planet. That amounts to about a fraction of a percent of the Earth’s population. Unfortunately, his timetable is a bit flawed and the end is nearer than he thinks.

Fast-forward to the year in question and we find Jackson Curtis (played by John Cusack – where HAS he been?), a cast-off father and struggling novelist who makes ends meet as a limo driver. He awakens to realize he is late to pick up his kids’ for a camping trip – not something that will endear him to this ex-wife, Kate (Amanda Peet). Of course, there is also a new boyfriend on the scene, Gordon (Thomas McCarthy) – he’s a plastic surgeon who drives a Porsche and the kids love him. So, basically, he may as well have an ensign’s red shirt on (sly reference to Star Trek) because you just know he’s not going to see the end of the movie. When the happy campers finally get to Yellowstone, they run into the requisite crazy person, beautifully played (type cast?) by Woody Harrelson. He’s a talk radio DJ that knows all about the Mayan calendar and has a ready conspiracy theory for the government cover-up. Just so happens, he’s right this time and has a map to the location of the secret arks.

At this point, you might as well put a sign up that says “If the Earth’s rockin don’t come knockin” because director Roland Emmerich is about to do what he does best – destroy things in a spectacular fashion. I didn’t think it would be possible to hold one’s breath for an entire hour but I swear I didn’t breathe from this point onward. Yes, the special effects are mind boggling and that’s just the point. This is where I part company with most other critics because said critics consistently harbor the notion that if a movie doesn’t have heartfelt meaning and award winning performances, it isn’t worth putting keyboard to paper. Posh, I say. I could drone on about the plot but you know what’s going to happen. And, yes, there are most definitely some excellent performances in this movie – most of them, in fact. And that’s what sets this movie apart from even, dare I say it, this year’s “Star Trek”. But the government does what we would expect it to do – hide things – and the good people do exactly what they are supposed to do – be better than that and help those around them. Along the way, we get the ride of our lives and some white knuckle moments such as the plane ride out of LA – oh yeah, the boyfriend can fly so he is useful after all – and THAT’S what we go to the movies for. I have one question for those critics, even the ones who struggled to give this movie what it deserved – three stars. When you go to an amusement park and get on a rollercoaster, do you critique the skill of the motorcycle gang member that’s operating the coaster or do you just sit back and enjoy the ride? Well, this movie is the ride of a lifetime so please just sit back, hold your breath and enjoy the ride! It’s worth every minute!

New Moon

K: New Moon, the second installment in the Twilight saga, was a fairly decent movie. It hit all the high points in the book and told the overall story pretty well. It was fun to see the Cullens again, and I'm glad Jasper got a line in the movie so we could hear his southern accent. I like that Rosalie got a couple lines to explain a bit about why she doesn't want Bella to turn into a vampire. But I'm sure the back stories of Jasper and Rosalie will never make into the movies, nor will those of Esme, Emmet and Alice. Carlisle's was at least hinted at in this one.

The best thing about this whole movie was the Volturi, the ancient and powerful governing body for vampires. The Volturi are led by Aro, expertly played by Michael Sheen. Sheen stands out as a seasoned professional among the entire cast of amateurs. He is deliciously evil and power hungry and I'm bummed that the Volturi won't be making an appearance in the next movie.

The second book was all about the wolf pack and I was a little disappointed that they didn't go into more detail about it. They could have spared a minute or two to explain the pack mentality and how they're all connected all the time (and that they all hate it). They very briefly mentioned that a pack member has to (i.e., physically cannot do otherwise even if they want to) follow the Alpha's orders. I was most surprised that they left out the imprinting since it has a huge impact on the ending of the last book. But I guess they're going to follow the pattern of the Harry Potter movies and just chunk it all into the last movie.

My complaint about the special effects is that when the sun hits Edward he radiates light like a light bulb is inside him and shooting out of his pores. The effect is worse than a disco ball. I much preferred the low budget sparkle of the first movie which happened to match perfectly how I imagined Edward in the sun.

Overall the movie was decent. It's a must-see for Twihards, but for the mere Twi-curious you might want to avoid the movie theater chaos and wait for the DVD.

J: Ah, "New Moon", a little movie about vampires, werewolves, and zombies. Zombies, you ask? Well, certainly not the George Romero variety and I'm not sure even those would help this movie as much as they improved Pride and Prejudice. I'm referring the to zombie-like performances of pretty much the entire cast. Now, I will be the first to admit I'm NOT a Twihard, nor even a fan - more like a Twi-not. I was, however, highly motivated to join my PIC because of the presence of Michael Sheen as Aro. It struck me as a little odd at first that an actor of the caliber of Mr. Sheen would want to be involved in a trifle of a film like this until I realized that his daughter is probably about the right age to be a Twihard and, if that's the case, I applaud any father willing to make that kind of sacrifice for his daughter! The bonus of that altruistic act is that we get treated to about 15 minutes of a great performance and the rest of the cast gets a master class in the craft of acting. How did I like the rest of the movie, you ask? Beats the hell out of me - I slept through the rest! Thanks, Michael, for letting me enjoy at least a few minutes.

Damned United

J: “A soccer movie? Are you kidding me?” Yes, a film about soccer (well, football movie to be perfectly correct) & yes, we quite enjoyed it. “Damned United” came up on my entertainment radar several weeks ago. I have always been intrigued by soccer – after all, its hockey without the skates & I can relate to that. But when we realized Michael Sheen was playing the lead, well, Team Michael had to represent!

Damned United concerns one of the great football managers (English-to-American dictionary translation: soccer coach) in England & apparently a native hero of sorts. However, he had one serious downfall, one I can completely understand; he couldn’t keep his mouth shut! Brian Clough (played brilliantly, as one would expect, by Michael Sheen), by all accounts, was a serious & passionate man, who took the sport of soccer seriously. But that lead him to take slights from other managers & dirty play (from one team in particular - Leeds United) personally. He made vendettas for these transgressions a matter of conscious & damned the consequences. And those consequences & the team most often guilty of them – Leeds United - comprise much of the drama in this film. I felt it important to do a little background research before writing this review & one account related a story about Michael Sheen’s consideration for this part. It said, basically, that he launched into a perfect imitation of Brian Clough when asked what he felt about playing the part. He also gets to show off his football prowess & instill some of his own passion for the sport into the part.

If there’s one thing everyone can seem to agree on it’s this movie is either completely accurate or completely bogus. In other words, there is no middle ground. Some of those involved say the book upon which the movie is based, The Damned Utd by David Peace, is a work of fiction at the very least & that many of the incidents portrayed never happened. Indeed, it would seem the falling out between Brian Clough & his longtime friend & assistant manager Peter Taylor (played by Timothy Spall of Wormtail fame in the Harry Potter films) is “reimagined” in order to give the movie a more uplifting ending. Kind of sappy, but I wasn’t really troubled by it during the movie, only after my research clarified the timeline of the incident. I guess everyone is entitled to their redemption, even if it didn’t happen in “real life”. One thing is certain, though. The animosity between Brian Clough & Don Revie (played by Colm Meaney), the manager of Leeds United, is very real. Clough shepherded his basement dwelling team, Derby County, up the ranks of English soccer teams, until he finally finds himself facing Leeds United, a team with a reputation for dirty play & their manager, Don Revie, who allegedly encourages his team to play dirty because, frankly, that’s how they win. Clough goes to great lengths to show Leeds that his team is worthy of a place alongside them, but Leeds beats Derby soundly & quickly leaves the stadium without a word. Clough is horrified & spends seemingly the rest of his career railing against Leeds & Revie every chance he gets both publically & privately. When Revie takes the position of English Team Manager for some reason that wasn’t really apparent (unless I was distracted by Michael Sheen’s rippling muscles in those short soccer pants & missed it – very possible!) he encourages Leeds to choose Clough as his replacement. Clough takes the position & proceeds to alienate just about everyone he comes in contact with. He tells the Leeds players that all the awards they have won are crap because they didn’t win them honestly, which really endears him to them! They refuse to play for Clough & Leeds stops winning, which then endears him to the Leeds fans. He lasts all of 44 days before he is sacked.

I suppose this movie could have easily become sappy & trite (indeed, it comes perilously close to it) but the performances by those mentioned & those not, such as Jim Broadbent as the Derby chairman, make Damned United a very entertaining film whether you are a soccer fan or no. It’s a wonderful indie film that will be enjoyed by a few with extreme good taste (like my PIC & I) & then go completely unnoticed & underappreciated. So, do yourself a favor & be one of the sophisticated cool people & see Damned United, damn it all!

K: This was a very well made film full of great actors. I like that this wasn't your typical story arc where the protagonist starts from nothing and ends on top. That would have been predicable, and this movie probably would then have never gotten made. Many of you probably aren't planning to go to the theater to watch this one, but please put it in your rental queue. You won't regret it.

OK, now I have to turn into a stupid little five year old. For some reason there is nothing funnier to me than to watch grown men call each other twats. I giggled every time someone called someone else a twat. TWAT! I told my PIC that I'm going to start working twat into my regular vernacular to which she replied that nothing would make her happier. So don't be a twat; watch this movie!