2012

J: Forgive the hyperbole but “2012” is THE best movie of 2009! Despite what some erstwhile critics may think, this is a nearly perfect movie. It has everything those of us who are completely devoted to this genre want in a film with a bonus of compelling and well acted characters, too.

I think by now most everyone is familiar with the Mayan long count calendar and the concept that it ends on the winter solstice of 2012 with a celestial alignment that occurs once every 26,000 years – those cleaver Mayans! However, because the calendar ends on that date the speculation about what might happen after has run amuck. Enter “2012”. As the film begins, Adrian Helmsley (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) American geologist and Presidential advisor has just been told that drastic solar flares have caused runaway heating of the Earth’s core. His message to President Thomas Wilson’s (Danny Glover – Morgan Freeman must have been busy) Chief of Staff, Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) is that it can’t be stopped and it’s only a matter of time before we are toast. What happens next is exactly what one would expect to happen, everything is kept secret and a plan is put into effect to save the brightest – and richest – people on the planet. That amounts to about a fraction of a percent of the Earth’s population. Unfortunately, his timetable is a bit flawed and the end is nearer than he thinks.

Fast-forward to the year in question and we find Jackson Curtis (played by John Cusack – where HAS he been?), a cast-off father and struggling novelist who makes ends meet as a limo driver. He awakens to realize he is late to pick up his kids’ for a camping trip – not something that will endear him to this ex-wife, Kate (Amanda Peet). Of course, there is also a new boyfriend on the scene, Gordon (Thomas McCarthy) – he’s a plastic surgeon who drives a Porsche and the kids love him. So, basically, he may as well have an ensign’s red shirt on (sly reference to Star Trek) because you just know he’s not going to see the end of the movie. When the happy campers finally get to Yellowstone, they run into the requisite crazy person, beautifully played (type cast?) by Woody Harrelson. He’s a talk radio DJ that knows all about the Mayan calendar and has a ready conspiracy theory for the government cover-up. Just so happens, he’s right this time and has a map to the location of the secret arks.

At this point, you might as well put a sign up that says “If the Earth’s rockin don’t come knockin” because director Roland Emmerich is about to do what he does best – destroy things in a spectacular fashion. I didn’t think it would be possible to hold one’s breath for an entire hour but I swear I didn’t breathe from this point onward. Yes, the special effects are mind boggling and that’s just the point. This is where I part company with most other critics because said critics consistently harbor the notion that if a movie doesn’t have heartfelt meaning and award winning performances, it isn’t worth putting keyboard to paper. Posh, I say. I could drone on about the plot but you know what’s going to happen. And, yes, there are most definitely some excellent performances in this movie – most of them, in fact. And that’s what sets this movie apart from even, dare I say it, this year’s “Star Trek”. But the government does what we would expect it to do – hide things – and the good people do exactly what they are supposed to do – be better than that and help those around them. Along the way, we get the ride of our lives and some white knuckle moments such as the plane ride out of LA – oh yeah, the boyfriend can fly so he is useful after all – and THAT’S what we go to the movies for. I have one question for those critics, even the ones who struggled to give this movie what it deserved – three stars. When you go to an amusement park and get on a rollercoaster, do you critique the skill of the motorcycle gang member that’s operating the coaster or do you just sit back and enjoy the ride? Well, this movie is the ride of a lifetime so please just sit back, hold your breath and enjoy the ride! It’s worth every minute!